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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

EGO (U)

Yes, most of the time I prefer to be alone. I wanted to feel that no ones cares because I did not want to expect them all to be there - Once I am disappointed I will never learn to earn that trust back ever again.

Trust is a very important thing for me, for all of us. Yeah, they call me gullible and I felt pretty OK with it. So I trusted U. I felt very safe with that until you started to burn that trust apart. I know that I can never bring the past back though we want to. We can't all undo everything that we did. And we can not always think that way. We can not always blame the past for every mishap we had instead we have the present to correct all of it.

You chased me everywhere for a very long time. You sacrificed a lot. But do you remember when I was the one doing that? You took me for granted and I still continued doing so because... NO... I am not going to say it. People called me a fool, laughed at me and hurt my dignity. I was too blind to see what's going on right in front of me. Wait, I was acting blind. I did not give up but then I got tired.

Then came the other way around. U only realized my worth when I was gone, when I did not love U anymore. I felt pity, loneliness and desperation. Unfortunately, I gave in.

It was a mistake, yes indeed it was. But I do not regret it because I learned a lot from it. Pac said,"I know I'd die alone but yet still I'm hoping." We are not sure if we can still see tomorrow. If we can still correct all the mistakes we made.

So tell me how this will end. Tell me if this is how you want it to end. Because I never expected that you will be there for me until the end and I am glad that I didn't. I am so confused and all I want now is repentance. I want you to compromise. No this is not my pride I made a mistake too. So I will say it now, I am sorry.

I did everything, gave U everything and this is what I get.

"If you think you TRUST the person so much, make sure your body armor is fastened pretty tight in your body."

I will drop it and as a matter of fact I will forget U. No matter what and this is the last time that I will talk about you.

Goodbye-U.